The Lost Piece of Flesh and Blood......

Sometimes life acts very mercilessly. While on one hand it brings happiness and hope, it snatches away something that is priceless.........

Some things are unsaid and somethings do require words, words that have emotions, tears and one such sorrow is the pain of losing  piece of your own flesh and blood, your own child.







She was happy when she came to know she was expecting.The whole house was preparing for the birth of a child. It was too early, yet every person was seen  happilly busy with suggesting  names of the child, clothes and how he/she would crawl, walk, talk..........





She herself was seen sometimes gazing when the thought of her child came to her mind. She felt the shiver of joy and a sense of achieving something.She was going to be promoted in life from a wife , a daughter-in-law  to a mother, a complete woman. That's what a woman is " a mother."



Everything was fine to say, that she never missed vomitting. Everday took pills for the sake of morning  sickness and slept restless nights. Her condition deteriorated  with every time she ate something or felt like eating. She could not even drink water for whatever she consumed made her  restless than ever.The doctor who she consulted only gave her pills to slowdown  her uneasiness and  help her eating.While she  did whatever the doctor told her, she felt something was wrong.





Everybody in the house was tensed about her condition but nobody mentioned it, just trying to ease her restlessness.The first trimester was coming to an end and the time of her first sonography approached. But some days before that all of a sudden she had fever. High fever to say. The doctor prescribed her a medicine. She took the medicine and was relieved of the fever but with that something strange happened. Something that could not be explained, something that was scary.......



At night sometime about 2.30, she felt a shiver, she was in fever, she took the prescribed tablet. Her mother was sleeping beside her. But something made her feel restless. She was shivering now, not with fever but something took over her ears. She could not sleep. She changed her posture of sleeping. She was feeling something terrible is going to happen, something she can't understand but she knows. She tried to sleep again.





Suddenly, she could hear something, something like the sound of a woman reading aloud some mantras, she could not hearclearly what she was saying, but the sound was like that woman was doing something magical, something destructive.The sound of manjiras was what accompanied the mantra. She suddenly had a feeling of a tight twist inside her , like someone holding  her baby and pulling away. She screamed with pain, she tried hard but could not resist the pull.The mantras were louder than ever, so loud that she could not hear the sound of her own screams. Her heartbeat sounded louder than the sound of the manjiras  and that 30 minutes or so she felt there was a battle going on inside her.



Suddenly everything stopped, the loud mantras, the sound of the manjira stopped.And she felt that something inside her was travelling far far away from her.She stood near the bed in sweat and tears. The pain was still there but it was of the shattered hopes.She woke up her mother and told her about that. Her mother only said it was a bad dream but she knew for she was the witness of that battle.The battle where she lost, lost the piece of flesh and blood, her baby.

The Pickle Jar.....

                   

 Under the kitchen slab, rested the large pickle jar. The old lady of  the house was the sole manufacturer of the contents in it. Sometimes raw mangoes my mouth is already sour, sometimes lemons and sometimes I don't know what she added in that jar.

                         Every 2- 3 days she used to shake the jar and the sound  echoed till the roof with us eavesdropping upon the moving delicacy inside. Sometimes I stole a little piece only to find her standing and staring  with scorching eyes and lips opening to say,"Don't you dare break the jar. I love pickles  like anything."

     

                         I loved pickles yes, but not the oil in it for it would always burn my throat and  irritate my stomach. Every now and then I would swear that I won't have it again but the greed always emerged victorious, when I saw everyone enjoying it with delight.

     



                         Then one day, the old lady packed the tiffin box with chapattis and aloo gobi ki sabji to be sent to her husband who worked at a distance from home. The lady was enjoying her meal when the Tiffin waala bhaiya  arrived asking for the tiffin. She ordered her son  to put the tiffin in the bag and hand it over to the boy.While he did the job, the lady screamed my name to bring some pickles from the jar.

             



                         I searched here and there but all in vain .For my dismay cannot find the jar.I went upto her and said in a busy tone "Where is that bloody jar???I could not see it. May be I am blind". She said ,"Go again, you can find God if you want to." I returned to the kitchen, trying to find where the jar could have possibly gone may be for a stroll or may be to the bedroom to sleep, haahaa....





                        Under the slab,I was seeing when suddenly, something disturbed my minute inspection. It was something that was shinning on the slab near the gas stove. It was something I could not understand. I ran to the lady to tell her my findings. I asked her in a confused tone,"Do we have another set of tiffins  similar to the ones we send everyday??" She noded no .I said ,"Then what did the brother give to the tiffin waala.....???



                            

                        The burst of laughter availed her lips that I had never seen in my entire life as if I am 2000 years old haaaaaa...aaaaaaaa. Brother was arrested and questioned and he admitted his crime with a blush. Now the sentence he was awarded was To take the tiffin to the work place without BUTTS and WHATTS and WHY......





                         

                                                      



                       

             



 



       

The molested...

    Last week a friend of mine shared an incident on facebook that she had an awkward situation at hand. She went to a govt college where she was invited to speak on  international women's day. She had an interactive session where many questions were put forward by the girls of that college . One of them made a  deliberate point that". GIRLS THEMSELVES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SEXUAL ASSAULTS.  " My friend explained  that this was not true but the girls gave many reasons like dressing sense, chit chatting on mobiles, etc. which was welcomed with an applause by other girls. I felt strange at first but yes this is what is happening with the mindset of girls today.







           When people keep on saying the same old things about how a girl should be brought up,  how she should behave ,bla bla bla.....we can realize we are breaking the self confidence of a girl just like the one in the above incident who herself believes that not the assaulter but the victim - the assaulted, is the culprit and the prime cause of the crime.  So  does that mean that a girl should be confined in the four walls of the house or should she take bodyguards with her wherever she goes and so on.....







          The incident reveals how constant bikkering can affect a girl's tender heart.Incidents of rape and molestation are not stopping, pressing the urgent need to take a new and effective approach.How these incidents can change a girl's life is worth considering.Laws, stricter laws must be put into action but their misuse should also be prevented.Life of a girl is affected not only in such incidents but its aftermath is also much critical....which prevent in reporting of such crimes.Crime against women is crime against humanity .

Humanity is not only male but also female.The existence of the one depends on the other.



         



          In India it is a common practice to  discriminate against a girl child from the beginning, that's her birth. When she is born even her own family sighs as if a burden has come on their shoulders. The birth of a son is celebrated like a festival while no festival for girls.Yes times have changed, so are the chains getting weaker but that's still not enough. But still much is needed to be done,not only by government but ourselves.And it is important we start from our own home giving importance to our own daughters,wives,daughter-in-laws......and levelling with their male counterparts.



Yes time has changed..........but attitudes have not...

When'll it change?

Can't say but it has to, it must....





       

the punished lover....hindi ....

              दर्द-ए बेवफाई

जिन्होंने झेला है दर्द बेवफाई का 

वो अक्सर मोहब्बत में पड़ते दिखते हैं। 

दर्द  लफ़्ज़ों में बयां वो  करते हैँ 

अश्क आँखों से बहाये जाते हैं। 

                                                                सरे ज़माने जिनकों अपना वो कहते थे 

                                                                आज वो ही पराए होते दिखते हैं 

खुद से रूठे हुए वो बैठे हैँ 

खुद से ख़फ़ा - ख़फ़ा से लगते हैं

  

                                                                 उन्हें  इल्म न था कि कैसे कब यह हो गया 

                                                                 जो झोका था  हवा का कब तूफ़ाँ बन गया 

ताश के पत्तों सी ज़िन्दगी रह गयी बनके 

हर लम्हा अब बिखरा -बिखरा सा लगता है 

                                                                  वक़्त गुज़रे भी तो क्या अब ???

वक़्त गुज़रे भी तो क्या अब 

जहां बैठे थे ,वहीं बैठे हैं अभी भी वो

थम ये जाएँ सांसें अब ये  मन्नत है

बंद हो जाये धड़कन तो मन्नत है



                                                                  जो हो जाये पूरी तो मानेगे

मानेंगे  कि खुदा होता है

ना हो पूरी तो मुर्दे से पड़े रहते हैं





                                                                   ज़िन्दगी सिसकियाँ  लेती लगती है

                                                                   मौत थमती नही सी लगती  है।

                                                                   साँसों की डोर वो जो खींचे तो

                                                                   तड़प सी महसूस जिस्म में  होती है





दीदार एक बार तो हो जाये

फिर चाहे मौत खुद को आ जाये

एक बार तो वो आ जाए

भर के बाहों में वो समझाए



                                                                    क्यों रुस्वा वो उनको कर गये थे

                                                                    क्यों बेवफा बन के  वो छुप गये  थे





उन्होंने झेला दर्द बेवफाई का

अब ज़िंदा ना मुर्दा वो लगते हैं

उन्हें याद कर के जीते हैं

उनका नाम ही जपते रहते हैं







                                                                     लोग पागल उनको कहते हैं

                                                                     मगर वो  आशिक खुद को कहते हैँ





सिफारिश ये रब से उनकी कर दे कोई

उस सिरफिरे को अंजामें मोहब्बत पहुंचा दे कोई

वो  कह गये है सबसे बस  इतना ही

ना मिले वो मुझे तो बात नही कोई

मौत ही मेहबूबा हो जाए अब मेरी





                                                                       आज भी गलियों में  वो उनकी

                                                                       राह  तकते हुए  से   दिखते हैँ

                                                                       उनसे मोहब्बत की देखो

                                                                       कैसी  सज़ा  वो खुद को देते हैं

हॅंस हॅंस के रोते रहते हैं

रो रो के हँसते रहते हैं



                                                       रो रो के हँसते रहते हैं। .............

The Confluence of Thoughts.....

                                                                               Confluence of thoughts is where we meet ourselves,where we see
ourselves,where we don't need a mediator to meet ourselves to face
ourselves, where we are with our own and on our own.It is where we can
judge ,we can introspect, we can question and give ourselves much
freedom to find the answers, all on our own.It is where we decide what
we have to do with our life and how.....





         

        Brain is a very strange organ of the body.It is where our mind thinks. An animal too has a brain and thinks, but we can think emotionally but can they? Their thinking is of different level. Our thinking involves intelligence and serves a purpose in the society while theirs only survival.

    

       Our emotions are the result of  the confluence of our thoughts.When we think of a rose,we imagine it, we feel its softness, visualize its color and its fragrance,even though its just a thought, we relate it to love and beauty.When we recall incidents of anger, we become angry there and then even though that is the past incident.Even though, our past incidents are not fruitful in the present,yet we recollect the incidents to either mourn or learn from them.But our past experiences good or bad ,our present mood and our concern for the future ,these are what bring us to the confluence of thoughts.

         



        Our thoughts are the blueprints of our deeds,the impact of them on our personality is always visible.What we think determines the person we are. The emergence of our failures or victory lies in the fact that how much we support ourselves, how much we respect and believe on our abilities and how much we trust our own thoughts.





       Confluence of thoughts is where we meet ourselves,where we see ourselves,where we don't need a mediator to meet ourselves to face ourselves, where we are with our own and on our own.It is where we can judge ,we can introspect, we can question and give ourselves much freedom to find the answers, all on our own.It is where we decide what we have to do with our life and how .

 Since birth we have so many people around us that we tend to forget that out thoughts are also with us everywhere,they are the witness of  our growth,our growth from a child to an adult.When we recall our childhood memories, we find so many of them full of innocence and happiness.Whatever we have learned ,whatever we have found and lost are the coins of that treasure which cannot be stolen.

         Life is a journey which takes a person to so many different places and gets a person to face so many different situations that the mind becomes a warehouse of thoughts positive and negative.These thoughts and experiences make a person  good or bad.The accumulation of thoughts and  images that had started  as a child end with death. The confluence of thoughts is where everyone lives and views how life has been since birth .How is yours? just THINK UPON......

                         

A Day becoming TODAY

"The Past is a smelly one, the Present is a sweet gift and Future an Undertaken project."

                   I can't tell you about Tomorrow because I haven't been there.The Past  is the recorded episode that I can rewind in my mind to gather the details of every movement I made, every dialogue, every word I uttered and heard . Every problem I defeated and  not only every laugh that  I laughed  but also every tear that I have shed . The unfinished assignment , I take up today to complete with pleasure or strain, is my choice . Today which started with a beautiful morning, chirping birds, cool breeze , fluttering leaves of trees and the Sun happy as ever an Old Man is.......

.

       



                  These hours of extreme opportunities is what TODAY is made up of. The way you make this day, deal with its problems show the kind of perception you have for this day and this life.If you decide that today is the day when you'll live your life to the fullest with lots of smiles, laughter, joy and harvesting the dreams you have been nurturing so far, you will wait impatiently for the next day Tomorrow which will eventually become your Today to be full of possibilities and more happiness......





               Today is on which your Tomorrow stands. that Tomorrow , that'll be fine if your Today is fine.

That Tomorrow , that'll be great if your Today is great and That Tomorrow that'll be Superb if your today is superb. So, take action today, make it better every hour by doing better whatever you do and shape your future there on. You can only reflect on what has happened in the past. you can crib on  or learn  from the mistakes . You can learn the value of time wrongly spent and decide how to make today better than yesterday.

                                                                                                                                                                                     Each day well spent will become a beautiful chapter in your book of life and if done in a dirty manner will destroy the beauty of the story.It is up to you what you do to make this life beautiful, happy  and memorable. Think about what you'll give to your life rather than what life is giving you.If you look closely you'll find that life has given you so much that if it takes back all that it has given you , you'll be left with nothing at all. And so it is your responsibility to build on this raw life something majestic, something brilliant something unique that you  look back and say THIS IS MY LIFE.......

The Demon of Doubt

              DOUBT is the biggest invader of a human mind , it is often accompanied by confusion and fear .At any task undertaken ,it weakens the will power and a person's efficiency.The dilemma of yes/no often results in hasty decisions which affects a person's confidence.And the results is total loss of whatever is at stake.                       And in such a condition if we depend

on other people to give their opinion or suggestions, we are indirectly discriminating against our own talent .we are giving them the whole or partial opportunity to dominate our self confidence which eventually results in low self esteem and willpower. We do not trust our own decisions and every now and then we need someone to affirm and confirm our decisions.                                    

 The life we live is the mirror of our decisions and our dreams.What we have achieved, what we have lost in the process of achieving, what we have learned and what we have missed.The better we understand our own self , the better we project our self to the world .Even the doubt need a careful handling and a minute research before becoming a decision . Talk to yourself , question yourself, and  you shall find the answers to the questions are waiting inside you and  nowhere else.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

                               So,stop yourself from giving any clarifications why you did or did not, stop pleasing others, stop confirming stop taking permission to live your own life . Because if you yourself are not sure about your  own decision then you cannot make others understand its significance.Believing yourself is very important in order to defeat the demon of doubt and to raise your self esteem. For you give the world a permission to dominate your thinking and your life if you doubt yourself. Just THINK UPON.........