I shifted in my flat a few days ago. The get-together of friends and relatives had ended yesterday and I was just cleaning the mess, which recalled the last day's laughter and fun we had. After the so called session of Swachhta Diwas, I was relaxing when the table of gifts, wrapped in colourful papers took my attention. One by one I unwrapped them and looked what hid inside. While I finished unwrapping and throwing papers in the dustbin, I took out each gift and placed them in the empty spaces of the room.Only one piece was left and I could not find a place for it .So I decided to keep it on the table for the time being.
In the evening as the hot tea touched my lips, my gaze shifted to that idol piece I had kept on the table. It was a colourful idol of Radha and Krishna. I went over the table and took the idol into my hands and suddenly turned to sit in front of the dressing table .I kept the idol in my lap and stared at it as if asking for some answers. As I was looking at Radha's face, a sad feeling filled my heart and my eyes started shedding tears.
A drop of tear fell on the idol .I was speaking to myself or may be to Radha,"The symbol of love Radha and Krishna...... but in reality does love exist??? Can I find the love so pure and so devine like you??? Its all fake, its all lie......"
I kept the idol on the dressing table and started ignoring the emotion it had on her face like I was jealous , like I was hurt. Suddenly the sound of a giggle startled me. It came from behind, where the idol sat.....on that dressing table. I turned around to see who was laughing at my sad introspection.
I saw a lady with eyes like seas so deep and her smile like she was a source of truthful joys humming and giggling like she was happy.I asked her,"Who are you?" And this was her reply....
"Who Am I? You ask me? It is you who called me from inside you, to ask that question which stirrs the calm of your mind. I am Radha ."
I asked,"You are Radha????
She replied," Yes! I am here to answer your questions which haunt the surface of your mind. Tell me what do want to know?"
I was silent for a moment like that moment was having a tussle inside me to gather what ever I wanted to know from the lover Radha herself.
She again giggled and said,"Why are you afraid? Just close your eyes and say the first thing that comes in your mind.....just start once , I promise you'll get your answers."
I don't know whether this was a dream or some prank but I trusted my instincts to ask what was inside my mind.
"Radha! I was thinking about Love..... In today's world is it still the same as was in your time? I mean what actually is love? How do you define it?"
Radha was still in her mood of jingling Krishna's name like she was having a time of pleasure. She shifted her gaze to me and started the conversation with ........." You ask me what is love??? Love is something not to be understood. It is something to be felt. If you try to understand it , you will have to understand this basic thing. Nothing in this universe is without the influence of love. The universe in every bit, every atom is justifying love.Without love nothing stands and without falling in love , nothing can be felt worthy of.I have felt this in every moment I have been in love since."
I asked her," You loved Krishna, but you never were together. Doesn't this make you sad ?"
Radha was astonished at my question. She smiled and came near me to sit and continued,"Who says we were never together? Infact we never parted. We are still together.What does togetherness actually mean to you? Does that only mean being physically together? Sometimes those who are physically present are somewhat absent and present in another dimension, in another time. Krishna is Radha and Radha is Krishna ,I am in Him and He's in Me. When soulmates meet, they meet never to be separated.You know how soulmates are ???? They are two pieces of the same soul. But when they meet once , there is nothing that can separate them, no physical boundaries of bodies, age and time........absolutely nothing."
I was getting mesmerised with every word she spoke about love. My questions still continued. "You say they never separate but infact your story tells that it happened."
Radha said,"I only wished to be in love , to be in love was more important than anything to me.. I never asked to be his wife , I had no desire to do so, what I wanted was only love, so pure so eternal beyond time and beyond space , something no one can snatch away. I got what I wanted..... no complaints"
"Rukmani was Krishna's wife, wouldn't be it right if you had been".......my question trailed off as I thought what Radha would think of me .
Radha was not going to get away with that easily.Her answer shocked me. She said,"Love has no limit..... Sudha, love is never expecting , love is selfless, it only gives. If you think of return in love , then its NO LOVE. I have broken the walls that limit love. Love is not being physically together, love is being emotionally together. Love is standing with your soulmate, being invisible to the world but becoming that strength that no power in the world can face.Love is never a weakness, actually it is something that makes the soul complete and content with no more desires left. The world sees the physical being but love is always felt through heart not through bodies..... Love is in every gesture of a human being. What is Hatred? Its not opposite to love, its the love stuck up somewhere unknown wanting to just get acknowledged and pulled back. Those who do not love actually crave for it more than who love. Love cannot be compared like who loved more, or whose love is superior. I cannot question upon Rukmani's Love. Love is love ..... Krishna is Love. He was the apple of everybody's eye. Even my fellow Gopies used to love him. I don't envy others. Love is to love not envy. "
"But why you get the acknowledgement of being Krishna's love and not Rukmani his wife?"my question suddenly buzzed like a buzzer .
Radha laughed and said,"Yes Rukmani is known as his wife but may be Krishna found his Radha in Rukmani? I never loved Krishna for acknowledgement, Sudha.......We were in love from the times I have known him and it continued to grow with us. Love does not need worldly appreciation or acknowledgement. In love two persons live as one, never to die as two different persons. Their love outlives time and the limits which a human body holds. Their love remains in the state of stagnation like time has stopped.The only thing is that my love for Krishna was so intense that we were not two different beings but were reflections of each other.And the difference between Krishna and me faded away. Those who want to search Kanha eventually have to go through me. Because now there is no difference left between Kanha and Me.
(Suddenly I saw a glimpse of Krishna standing in Radha and then she continued )
I tried to tell this through Mira. In Mira, I found Krishna closer than before because he wasn't there physically present for people to see, but his presence was my life. His only mention was my life. I loved him like a jogan . Wives call their husbands lord but I called the lord "Krishna" my husband. I gave up just to be with his love, in love, emotionally and spiritually. Radha in Mira and Krishna in Radha , how amazing is this love .It makes me forget everything."
I was a bit confused " But how do I know whether ........?????" Radha's answer interrupted my incomplete question.
She said," I live in every woman who finds her love.Look through my eyes and find your Krishna. Be a Radha and you will find your Krishna. Remember one thing Sudha, A soul in every life takes birth to meet its soulmate. Who is Rukmani or Meera, none other than me. I embrace Krishna in every form who surrounds him. I am not a different being I am in every being, searching for him to be complete with the Krishna."
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I turned around in the direction of the door. I got up to open the door, hoping Radha to stay but she vanished and I found her no where. May be I was day dreaming but still it feels that she was here and she made me realise the greatest truth which lay hidden that eternal love is not attained through lust but through love and the search of this love is what makes us wander throughout our lives and sometimes we have it in front of our eyes but we fail to realise its presence.....
