How slow we made it...to this.
Slowly hearing out our hearts, our sore wounds that would always ache like hell. We comforted each other only to leave back our skins that no longer served us.
Do you really think we have to be this vulnerable? I get scared at the mention of it. May be I dont know how to or may be my walls are so thick that I cannot break them.
Each day I have cemented one more layer over them. Now it seems more like a grave enclosing me in, than my fortress.
Do you think this is needed? The last wall to be thrashed to feel what vulnerability is?
I get scared that my armour would be destroyed, hurting me more... exposing me to something I might not be able to protect myself from.
But some days.... I want to break down...show the real me to you and tell you yes it hurts to miss you... to love you because I can live, knowing that it's safe to love you from a distance than to find myself crumbling under your stare....than to say that it's all a lie... this love is fake.
Somedays I want to bear the weight of your arms wrapping around me, feeling me safer than ever inside your embrace. Is being invulnerable too bad?
Can't you see am so scared to be in love and be loved.
Because the fear of losing you haunts me day and night behind these walls.
And all I can do is be on the other side of this poker face and behave like it doesn't matter... you do not matter.... LOVE DOESN'T MATTER!!!
© Ravinder Kaur
13-05-2020
Image: www.psychcentral.com
